Why It’s So Hard to Make Friends in Toronto (From Someone Who Has Hosted Hundreds of Social Events)

Making friends as an adult is already hard — but in Toronto, it can feel almost impossible. After hosting hundreds of social events across North America — Ottawa, Montreal, Toronto, U.S. cities — I’ve been able to see patterns in how different cities socialize. And Toronto consistently stands out as one of the most challenging places for people to make genuine new connections.

Here’s what I’ve noticed again and again.

1. The Flake Culture Is Real

Toronto has one of the strongest “flake cultures” I’ve ever seen.

People RSVP to events enthusiastically… only to cancel at the last minute or disappear entirely. Even when they’ve paid for the event.

In other cities, we regularly see 90%–100% attendance. In Toronto? It’s often 50–60%, and that’s considered normal.

Why does this happen?

1. People often make multiple plans for the same day
2. They wait until the last minute to choose the “best” option
3. They’re overstimulated and overbooked
4. They feel awkward about cancelling, so they silently disappear instead

This isn’t about bad intentions — it’s cultural. There’s a strong “I’ll decide later” mindset that makes committed friendships harder to build.

When people don’t show up, others feel let down…and the cycle continues.

2. Growing Social Anxiety and Weak Conversation Skills

This one surprised me the most when comparing Toronto to U.S. cities and other Canadian cities: Toronto has noticeably higher social anxiety among young adults.

At events, many people struggle to:

1. Hold conversations longer than a few minutes
2. Ask follow-up questions
3. Read social cues
4. Start conversations without prompts
5. Navigate group dynamics

And this isn’t their fault.

A combination of factors is at play:

1. A heavily digital lifestyle
2. Pandemic-era isolation
3. A competitive, career-driven environment
4. Smaller social circles from childhood or university
5. High pressure to “perform” socially

When I run events in other cities, I often see people naturally mingle, joke, and flow into conversations. In Toronto, people frequently need guided icebreakers, structured activities, or one-on-one prompts just to get comfortable.

It’s not that people don’t want to connect — they simply haven’t had many opportunities to develop those skills.

3. The City Is Expensive — And It Hurts Social Life

Toronto is one of the most expensive cities in North America, and it’s affecting everything — including friendships.

A simple night out can easily cost:

1. Drinks: $20–$30+
2. Dinner: $25–$40+
3. Transportation/Uber: $20–$40
4. Cover charges / activities: $20+

One evening can push over $100 without any effort.

For many young people:

1. Going out becomes a financial stress
2. People choose to stay home instead
3. Socializing starts to feel like a luxury

In other cities where the cost of living is lower, people are more willing to say yes to plans and attend social events consistently. In Toronto, the price tag alone makes people hesitate — or cancel last minute.

4. Transportation Makes Everything Harder

Toronto has the population of a world-class city… but the transportation of a much smaller one.

This directly impacts the social scene.

What makes going out harder?

1. The TTC and LRT have frequent breakdowns and delays
2. Evening or weekend service is unpredictable
3. Parking is extremely expensive
4. Traffic congestion can double travel times
5. Driving downtown is stressful enough to discourage going out at all

When meeting up with friends feels like a logistical battle, people choose convenience — and convenience often means staying home.

Even for social events I’ve hosted downtown, attendees often tell me:

“I wanted to come, but the commute stressed me out.”

It’s not laziness — it’s infrastructure.

So… Is Toronto Anti-Social? Not Exactly.

Here’s the surprising truth: Whenever people do show up to social events in Toronto, they are some of the kindest, most open, and most genuine people I meet.

The issue isn't the people — it’s the environment.

Toronto is a city where:

1. People are isolated
2. Everything costs more
3. Transportation creates friction
4. Social skills are underdeveloped
5. Flaking is normalized
6. Time feels limited

Together, these create a city where making friends feels like pushing against a current.

But the Good News? Toronto Wants Community

Despite the challenges, attendance at social mixers, community events, and guided socials is skyrocketing in Toronto. People want connection — they’re just struggling to find the right avenues.

When you provide:

1. A structured space
2. Real conversations
3. Zero judgment
4. Fun activities
5. Supportive hosts
6. A welcoming crowd

Toronto residents show up — and friendships start forming fast.

I’ve seen it happen hundreds of times.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve been struggling to make friends in Toronto, you’re not alone — and it’s not your fault.

The city has real barriers that make connection harder, but with the right environment and a bit of courage, building meaningful friendships is absolutely possible.

And if you ever feel like giving Toronto another chance socially, come try one of our guided social mixers. You’d be surprised how many amazing people are just waiting for an opportunity to connect.